I went to Shea Stadium last night with my girlfriend Lindsey (She’s a Mets fan. I know, it’s annoying) to see the Mets host the Oakland A’s, and I had quite an experience. I had a few incidents that led me to write this column about rules for going to the game. I don’t care what game, or where. There are some things that irritate me at the game and fans are guilty of committing these transgressions in every stadium you go to.
We take a lot of heat in Philly, but truthfully, you can find these people in every stadium in the country.
First of all, please sit in the seat that corresponds to the seat on your ticket. You know, the one you paid for. Last night, I had some girl and her boyfriend sitting in one of our seats, and her pocketbook was in the other. We got there with one out in the first inning, it’s not like we showed up in the bottom of the eighth. When my girlfriend politely asked them to move over and showed them our tickets, the girl gave her an attitude and acted like we were in the wrong. Sit in your right seat! I don’t want to deal with the awkwardness that comes with pointing out that you are acting stupid. What’s more annoying is that their seats were two over to the right. Please explain the benefit of moving a seat or two to the left. You are no closer to El Duque, I promise.
Another thing I don’t get is why people go to a game, only to not watch the game. Those two idiots next to me? They text messaged their friends the whole time. The tickets were about $60 a piece, I’m hoping they were given to them for free. I know I don’t have the kind of dough where I can afford a $60 text-message throne.
Hey everyone, sit in your seat until the inning is over or there is a break in the action. I can’t tell you how many people were up and down the aisles repeatedly during two-strike counts with two outs. Again, why go the game and not watch it? It’s like people acting up in movie theaters. You are only ruining the experience for people that actually want to, you know, watch the game they paid to see.
This is my biggest pet peeve when seeing a live sporting event: Knock off the swearing. I know I sound like an old man, but I’m not. I don’t have kids, and I even swear like a sailor when I’m amongst my friends. But I refuse to do it at a ball game. I hear parents complain all the time that they can’t take their kids to a game because of the caustic environment that includes filthy language. C’mon, don’t be that guy. Yell, cheer, scream your opinions about Pat Burrell, do whatever. But please, keep it clean. I don’t want to be the reason that some guy feels he can’t take his eight-year old son to the park.
Here is the good part, and it ties in with the previous paragraph. If you root for the opposing team, or even a team not involved in the game (like me last night as a Phillies fan), keep it under wraps. I always get involved in some good-natured jawing with the other fans. But it stays that way, good natured. We laugh and have a good time. Why on Earth would you have it escalate to physical violence? Don’t be a moron and try to take a swing at a guy because he has an Eli Manning jersey.
There was a group of four teens about five rows in front of me (that didn’t sit down the whole time. They were up and down the aisle all night. Where are you even going?) that were apparently Yankee fans. For those of you that don’t live in the greater NYC area, there is tension between many Yanks and Mets fans. Usually, it’s not a problem, but these idiots continued to wave their Yankee caps in everyone’s face and proceeded to draw the ire of Mets fans. The kind of ire that can only come in the 7th inning after a night of drinking. Soon, there were 250-pound, Beltran jersey-wearing men flooding down to their row to “have a little chat” with these guys.
That may have been because these (I’m trying to think of another word for “jerks” that isn’t an expletive. I need a Thesaurus) degenerates were flipping off the section and yelling f-bombs and homophobic slurs. Brilliant! Mr. Beltran jersey guy slipped up behind them from the other side and rocked one of the teens in the face with a haymaker.
Well done, so what’s been accomplished here? The four teens and Floyd Mayweather, Jr. were ejected. Lots of fun, huh? Everyone else missed an inning of baseball because, let’s be honest, you are definitely going to be focused on the UFC bout right in your own section. This is all just so stupid, and I hope and wish Philadelphia fans don’t get caught up in that nonsense. Other than saying “I punched a Yankee fan” to your friends, what is to be gained (and quite frankly, you have to be a real piece of Samsonite to find that to be a benefit)? Awesome, you kicked a guy with a Tiki Barber jersey, so you got to leave the game at halftime, were escorted out and embarrassed in front of a large group of people and then had assault charges pressed against you. Nice! You are a true gentleman and a scholar, and have fun with those attorney’s fees. Seriously, a few seconds of thought will go a long way.
So that was my trip to Shea, which was also spruced up by $7.25 beer prices. I’m really not one to complain about prices. When I go out anywhere or go to a game, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’m going to be dropping some loot. But $7.25? I think Yankee stadium is $9, and it’s probably like that throughout most of the sports world. This just highlights the stupidity of drinking at a game and not paying attention to the action. Money well spent! You can go to a local pub and pay $3 a pint and just ignore the game on TV. With all the dopes that go to games, it makes a nice HDTV awfully attractive. I’m not trying to come off as though I am cut from a higher moral fabric, but some basic human decency and common sense would be appreciated.
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