I was on 610-WIP today and will be on again tommorow which is Thursday August 30th from 10am to 3pm with Steve Martorano. I'm sitting in for Anthony Gargano who is on vacation. One of our topics today was Andy Reid's son Britt and his problems.
It stirred up some serious debate and I got some mail which I'd like you to check out.
From Jerome R. Gardner,
To G. Cobb,
I heard you on WIP and would like to comment on the perspective of Andy and his son's difficulties. First, the definition of a good parent is a good kid. We all enter into an unknown area and we only have our own upbringing experience to rely on – and that includes the 'professional experts' who often have kids with problems in living. Second, if Andy and his wife failed as parents, the lack of input happened between birth and twelve. Whatever values are set then will prevail until the kid decides to change them after age 26. However, the kid need to interpret the message. Andy and his wife probably sent mostly good messages, but it is how the kid interprets them that is the issue. Third, the two boys are 'men', not children. They are responsibile for their own lives, not their parents. If the parents are sending a 'bad' message, it is probably that they provided too much. These boys could have interpreted 'having everything' as a sign that there parents do not think of them as capable, and so they are wallowing. Finally, the worst part of drug addiction is that they are always enabled. Andy and his wife will need to let the boys deal with the normal consequences of their actions – and evey that will take decisions. If the boys go to jail will they wallow in pity and blame everyone else or will they take it to heart and change. People who say Andy should tend to his kids [Dana O'Neill] are simply 'do gooder' who don't know their a@# from a hole in the ground. Tough love is necessary – don't destroy you family to spend time with kids who won't appreciate. Offer them support to take charge of their own lives, and if they don't – that is on them.
By the way – even talking about this is rediculus – a man [or woman] who knows nothing, and knows not s/he knows nothing, is a fool.
My prayers are with Andy and his family – don't escalate their problems by giving advice – give support when asked.
Mr Gardner,
I don't think it's ridiculous to talk about this because there are many people who have children in our society and have no idea how to raise them. I don't direct those comments at Andy Reid but I do think talking about their situation helps to shed light on parenting. I don't know what the relationship is between Andy and his son. I do know he spends a tremendous amount of time at his job and I know his son has gotten himself in some serious trouble. Everything else is guess work, including everything you've written. Our discussion are nothing more than our thoughts about the situation, but they can be constructive and helpful to others.
