"Livid" would be the word to describe the emotions of most Eagles fans today after watching yesterday's muffed punts. However, I know that there is one person who did not find the muffed punts very upsetting at all.
After rookie place kicker Mason Crosby sealed the Eagles' defeat, I immediately turned to my friends and acted out the following phone conversation:
(Dials 911): "Reno? Is this Reno Mahe? Great! Well, Reno, I'm sorry things didn't work out between you and our organization last year. We really did mean to bring you back, but we felt that if we dumped Jeremy Bloom at that time, we would lose support from our all-important 14 year-old female demographic. You understand, right?
"But, anyway, did you see our game against the Packers by any chance? Oh… you saw the muffed punts by Greg Lewis and J.R. Reed? Haha, oh yeah! We remember those. It was all part of our plan to prove to everybody how important you were to the team so there would not be riots when we decide to bring you back. I mean, do you really think we'd be dumb enough to have non-punt returners return punts all season? Ha! How ridiculous would that be?
"Yeah, Reno… we did this all to drum up support for YOU! And it worked! So, enough about that – how fast can you get here? Are you in the area? Do you need a ride to the NovaCare Complex? I think Greg Lewis can pick you up in his truck . Which restaurant do you work at again? Ok, great. He'll be there in 5 minutes."
(Edit: Thanks to the 610 WIP Morning Crew for the "Mr. Softee" nickname)
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