I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am fed up with ESPN. It has become too big and too arrogant for my tastes.
A guy in one of my fantasy football leagues (Our P.R.O. league in South Jersey, they’ve been asking me to mention it) demanded to know why I can’t stand ESPN. He apparently is still a big fan, well sorry, I am not at all.
I will start with this with the one thing I do like about ESPN, which is their new “Hashmarks” football blog on ESPN.com with Matt Mosley. Mosley is a sharp guy, whose opinion I respect a ton. He does a great job, and I recommend everyone check it out. I’ll dig into the rest of the website a little later on.
Has anyone upgraded to HDTV? I’m sure some of you have, and while I know you guys are down there in Comcast country, I’m up by NYC with Time Warner Cable. When I upgraded to my HD cable box with DVR (you have to get DVR if you have a few extra bucks. It changes the way you interact with your TV), they told me that if I wanted ESPN in HD, that I would have to pay an additional $9 a month. ESPN knew I’d pay it, and I did. I’m not missing Monday Night Football in high-definition, considering the money I dropped on my home theater system.
So, let’s look at ESPN’s revenue options, which are plentiful and only benefit us, the consumers. I’m joking. I pay for ESPN standard as part of my cable package. I now pay even more for ESPN in HD. I still have commercials, which make them money and expose me to products I may or may not want. But the Worldwide Leader doesn’t stop there. Oh no, now we’ve got in-show promotions! I’m thrilled! Coors Light now presents the “Cold Hard Facts.” I know these facts would just not be as cold or as hard, if Coors Light didn’t present them to me. And how hot would the Budweiser “Hot Seat” be without Anheiser Busch chipping in? It would be the “Tepid Seat” at best. If a candle had three ends, they would be burning the candle at all three. I wouldn’t be surprised if Linda Cohn had a huge Miller Lite button on her suit jacket one day.
Does anyone even watch “Sportscenter” anymore? What used to be a daily staple – I’d watch 2-3 times a day – has now become an avoid-at-all-costs program. It’s not informative. It’s one host trying to outdo the next with stupid catch phrases that have become a mockery of themselves. “Look how sarcastic we are!” Look at me changing the channel! I don’t find their “experts” – with the exception of a few like Ron Jaworski and Peter Gammons – to know a ton about what they are talking about. They make outlandish statements and predictions that have no basis in fact. I wrote a piece on their dreadful Eagles pre-draft “On the Clock” (I forget who sponsored that) segment a few months ago. It was a trainwreck.
I am particularly livid that they moved Monday Night Football to ESPN, and this if for a few reasons. First of all, not everyone in this country can afford cable television. There are still many homes that watch TV via standard broadcast. You have taken a 35-year old treasure away from these people. You can say that they now get the Sunday Night games, but it’s not the same. Monday night is Monday night.
Secondly, they have destroyed the actual broadcast of the game. Mike Tirico at some times reminds us that he is alive and breathing. Should we even get into Joe Theismann? I know he’s gone, but I still had to endure his “Brett Favre is the Greatest Living Human Ever” garbage last year. Tony Kornheiser doesn’t know enough about football, nor is he funny enough to have a spot in the booth. The only thing I liked about Kornheiser was that he would call out Joey T when he said something stupid. Michelle Tafoya on the sidelines offers incredible insight when she mentions that Brian Billick wasn’t thrilled with his team’s six turnovers in the first half (one way to look at it, I guess), or she finds out immediately after the game what was going through Antonio Gates’ head when he crossed the goal line. In all fairness, sideline reporters on any network are pretty useless.
And what is with the in-game promos with actors in the booth in the second quarter? I know I’m not alone here. How does the NFL allow this? How did they not scratch this off on the negotiations table? What ESPN executive popped off in a meeting and said, “you know what guys? I got it. Instead of just a straight broadcast, let’s have people that don’t care about football yammer on in the booth and promote a movie or something that and we’ll get paid for it? Sure, it will detract from the broadcast and make us look like total hacks, but think of the extra money we’ll get.” Really, really stupid, ESPN. Thank you for ruining MNF.
Moving right along to the website, ESPN.com. I’ve already given Matt Mosley a free pass, as I really like his work. Other than that, ESPN’s website looks less like a sports information website and more like some sort of sick joke. I used to live on that site, checking back all day long at work. In all honesty, I now check it maybe once every six months unless someone sends me a link (not including “Hashmarks,” which I check several times a day). Do you like orange squares? Good! Because there are tons of them and they all mean that you need to pay more money to view that content. There are banner ads and video ads all over the site, as many as they can fit. Yet, they still want more money from you, the consumer. I promise you that the Sixers will win an NBA title before I ever pay money to get Len Pasquerelli’s thoughts on anything.
Speaking of which, anyone else notice that Pasquerelli frequently claims to break a story that has already been broken by another news source? For those not familiar with the media, that is a big no-no. The Miami Herald will run a piece in the morning, then sure enough, at 6pm there will be a crawl on ESPN claiming that “Len Pasquerelli of ESPN.com reports….” Yeah, not really. ESPN is very irresponsible in this regard. Here’s a good headline on the NFL section today from Lenny P:
“Turley looking for one more shot.”
Get this, it’s Insider Info. ESPN, if you want to offer insider information, you might not want to give the whole story away in the headlines. I took everything I needed to know about that story from the headline: Kyle Turley would still like to play in the NFL. Thanks, got it.
ESPN has built a ubiquitous sports media monster that is tough to hide from. I try to boycott all things ESPN when possible (“Sportscenter”), and I succumb to the vicious beast when necessary (“Hashmarks”). The company is dedicated to increasing its bottom line wherever they can, and delivering what they deem to be “news” in a tertiary capacity. Now, if they offered me a nice payday to write for them (of course I would, don’t be stupid, ignore the rest of the sentence), well, let’s cross that bridge when we come to it.
